Kiyowara

Gratitude

There is nothing sweeter than the realization that the people in your life are *exactly* the right people to be in your life.  Thank you, all you wonderful folks in my life, for being on this journey with me.  

I just felt the need to say that.  

Namaste

The Wall

The Wall
I hit it today
It was distressingly hard
And completely unforgiving
My heart aches
And my body hurts
Worst of all
Is the wail of anguish
That will not be released
I heard it
Off in the distance
Only to realize
That it was issuing from me
Torn assunder
Twixt the longing and the fear

And midst this despair
The whisper in my ear
"Remember.
Remember who you are.
You do not know
And you are glorious."

Beloved

Daring, I stand
Quivering with anticipation
I have waited for you
Oh Beloved
A breathless hope
A faint glimmer of Light
Held close in the Dark
While the World cried out
And I held fast

This is part of a longer work I hope to complete before Yule.

Inspiration versus Discernment

We live in times that are speeding up.  The level of chaos and despair is spiraling out of control.  The Call is loud and clear, and yet, and yet, the best way we can answer that call is to do the thing that is most counterintuitive for most of us: Slow Down.  

With all this chaos are rising more and more inspirational voices.  The louder The Call becomes the more we rise up to meet that challenge.  I find myself wanting to answer every calling voice, to step up in as many ways as I can.  However, there is point at which my efforts become so dilute as to be ineffective.  

In order to do my best work, I need to think deeply on which aspects of The Call fit best with my personal abilities.  What do I bring to the table?  Which of my skills are best suited?  There need not be judgment here, nor do I need to box myself into one choice, but I do need to recognize that without self-care I won't have any resources left in which to rise up to the challenge of our times.

What is self-care?  Self-care can be seen as Discernment, employing that internal observer that can, without judgment, assess a situation and the appropriate response from a place of slow calm. Discernment allows us to delve into the mystery of our own personal resources and to say yes or no to an invitation to action based on its appropriateness in our current life situation.  

There are many Lightworkers now, publicly accessible people who are openly activating Light work by through teaching, writing, and doing activist work.  My heart longs to help each and every one, but my inner Observer calls me back to my own center, whispering to me to discern each opportunity and it's alignment to my own path.  Where can I be most effective?  Is that part of The Call one that I have skills to meet? Are there parts of my own Lightwork that take priority right now? Am I taking the time to keep my own body, mind, heart, and soul in alignment before I reach out to contribute to something else? Am I remembering myself, maintaining my own container to work at its optimum capacity? Where do I need to push out of my comfort zone, and where do I need to concentrate on my strongest skills?  Does the desire of my heart outweigh the skill of my hands?  Should I answer my heart's call and learn along the way?  What needs to change in my life to support that decision?

These questions can only be answered from a place of stillness.  As tempting as it is to answer the dazzling call of the incoming Light, we must first address the still, dark place of our center and know the deep desire there.  Choosing action from a position of slow strength gives us a solid foundation.  This kind of solid base helps us to always be working from our center, our sincerest desire, and makes the efforts we do the most potent they can be.  

Slow down and take a breath with me.  Feel that breath fill you, nourish you, connect you, and center you.  Look out on the world from within your own center.  These eyes you use will see more clearly from a smooth flow.  Breath out and feel that rejoining, reuniting with the whole.  This way we can work in unity, this way we can effect real, lasting change.

Namaste

You are stars, part 2

"You are stars."

There is a difference between believing that each of us has a spark of the Divine within us and knowing that we are Divine.  The idea that we hold only a spark of the Divine gives us too much room to reject the rest of ourselves as not worthy some how by virtue of not being Divine.  If we are Divine in totality, then it behooves us to accept and integrate ALL of who we are, our Light and our Dark, as one whole, like the Yin Yang symbol where each has the other within.  

How different would the world be if we each stepped up to embrace our Divinity, if we regarded all of our parts as sacred?  I believe we could then communicate on a much deeper level.  From that connection we could truly change the world.

Namaste.

You are stars

"Why do you reject that which you are, that which you create? You are stars."

I found myself rejecting this idea, that we are stars, replacing that phrase with phrases like "we are made of star stuff," or "we are made of stars."  Both of those made sense to my rational mind: everything in our Universe is made of the same substance, the same stuff that came wheeling out of the Big Bang, the same elements, the same energies, whirling and growing and moving outward.  My mind rebelled at the idea that we are stars.  The idea that I could myself be a star was even more difficult to swallow.

And yet, and yet...there is that Call, the call to be whole, to reach for integration.  At moments when I let go and get out of my own way, there it is, that flow that moves through me, enlivens me, fills me with awe, with a deep and abiding sense of wonderment at the creation around us.  Nothing brings me closer to Joy than the moment when I see in someone else's eyes that ignition of spirit.  When that light of hope and connection rises, it joins me with another in a deeper understanding, like the separation we experience externally disappears but without any sense of losing the essence of ourselves.  The ego fear that I will lose my unique personhood evaporates and what's left is some essential sense of self meeting self, each an essential part of an exquisitely beautiful whole.  At that point the whole becomes greater than the sum of the parts, but each individual part is critical to reaching the sum in the first place.  

We are stars, wheeling and growing and dancing.  Won't dance with me?

Namaste.

The Call

More questions than answers

What am I?  

I am not certain anymore

Puzzle pieces fit together

But there are pieces missing

Who am I?

I thought I knew

But each time I get close

It all changes again

Heart, and Mind, and Spirit

These and my two hands

Are the only givens

In a world gone mad

What I do know

Is what feels right

And that is where I must put my faith

and all my pledges

If there is to be change

If there is to be hope

If there is to be love

Then I must answer that call.

-Sandi Luck, 14 August 2011