I find myself having completed a curious circle this year. Tonight we put our Yule decorations around the house. As boxes were unpacked I found myself holding a thing which seemed last year a remnant of things that no longer had meaning for me: a blown glass angel.
We have used this angel as a tree topper for several years. It's wonderful, and I must admit that my inner squirrel is oh-so-delighted with the shiny glass, especially when it is illuminated. However, as my family drew away from the Christian traditions of our collective childhoods and closer to to celebrating the natural cycle of the Wheel of the Year, we began to feel the angel represented a deity that no worked for us. I wanted to return to the star on the tree top that I had as a child, unknowing in my innocence that my own parents were more Pagan in their leanings than I could have imagined. We've had the a lovely star on our tree top now for the past few years, and the angel has sat as a decoration in another part of the house. I don't think we even unpacked the angel last year. It just didn't seem to experess our feelings about this season.
In the past year so much has changed for me. Growth has occurred that I could not have anticipated and yet is somehow the culmination of all my life at the same time. I found an inner light that fires my will, that inspires me to stand tall and reach out from a place of strength that I did not know I possesed. I found a love that I had only glimpsed somewhere in my dreams. Through this Light I even found healing for familial wounds that I thought I'd never forgive. I am learning to live, really live, with a love that fills me to overflowing. It is sometimes painful, always joyful, and I want others to see this Light and also desire to live in Love with all their being. There is no greater gift to give or receive...and I understand now that no one, not one single other being, can take this away from me or anyone. It shines down from the stars, and we are made of stars. There is no difference, there is no distance, it is here, now, within each of us.
As I unpacked the angel I was struck by the Light reflected through Her. I saw the Light Being He represents, not the cultural connotations that I turned from earlier on this journey. My inner starlight leapt and my heart cried out that this, this is the same Light, One Light, shining forth. There is no separation and yet a racous celebration of all that makes us unique. And so I have come Full Circle, Light to Light, Love to Love, and my eyes filled with tears as my heart overflowed with Joy.
Let there be Light. Let yourselves be never ending Light. Lux Aeterna! Yah Fatah, The Way is Open!
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