And now we are 50!
Whew! This hardly seems real. When I think about it I can certainly see that I have, in fact, traversed that many years. That reality does not, however, change my perception that I've only been here for a blink of an eye!
Time is so subjective. My experiences have been many and varied; I've had at least 5 distinctly different careers in this time span! That sounds remarkable, but really it all happened as a matter of course for me. The really interesting part is to look back and see how each different component has led to the life I have today.
For the first time in my life I get to do what I love most. I get to create art and make my means from that creation. It's a gift that I feel immensely grateful for and protective of, the results of which have meant that for the first time in my life I feel afraid that I won't have enough time to enjoy this work!
Don't get me wrong, I'm relatively healthy and well. (I have had a couple of moments in the past few weeks, though, where I wondered if my warranty had run out!) However, I fear that the time I have to make beautiful things might be running out. It's not death itself I fear. We're old friends, both in my memories of past lives as well as helping others to transition during my current life. I've had a couple of near misses even in this life, and what I came away knowing in my soul is that the actual transition itself is peaceful.
I'm definitely not ready to let go of this current life experience. I want to have time to be in my current experience, and I want it so much that I am sometimes filled with anxiety!
So, here is my deal: I want to learn to really take care of myself, to practice self-care, the kind that keeps me healthy and balanced, the real deal where I do what is right for my body and mind. But the thing is, keeping things going so that I have a wonderful life only works if I'm not doing it alone! So how about we all agree that we're going to make the best of this thing called life, and be here for each other in the best way we each can? There's no one-size-fits-all here; every one of us must make the choices that fit us as individuals. Please know that I love you and want to support you in making the choices that are right for you!
We're all in this together!