Kiyowara

Showing up

Do whatever you need to do to get into your body, not because you will need to be able to swing a fist or a sword, but in order to bring all of yourself to the front line of your own life.  Be in your best body for you in order to bring your whole self to your sacred work.

Resources

There are times when we answer a call - and discover that we have pushed ourselves beyond our resources.  It's easy in such situations to just keep pushing until we simply fall over in exhaustion.  How many of us have experienced this in response to perceived crises?  The college student getting miserably sick following finals is a perfect example.  How effective are we when we end up in a drained state?  

Instead, it helps to stop, look, and listen to the environment around us.  Is there actually a crisis that does require us to keep moving, push through and hope to reach a safe place to stop before we fall down?  Sometimes the answer is yes.  In the case of a a medical emergency this is certainly true, but even there we need to assess carefully whether or not we can safely and effectively respond.

All too often, however, the crisis is only a perceived crisis, and could actually afford to have us wait in responding.  When our personal resources are already low, continuing to say yes to requests for assistance that are not life-threatening drains us, increasing stress levels and lowering our immune systems until we are probably going to get sick in some way.  It's nice to call a rest stop while you can actually enjoy one; waiting until you are in enforced rest by an illness-induced full stop is much less fun and harder to recover from.

Our society encourages the lack of self awareness that leads us into these draining situations.  Those of us who have answered a call to any kind of service are keenly aware of the need crying out in our World, and wish to answer to with everything we have to ease the pain, maybe even to foster some Joy.  The further down the rabbit hole of our own resources we are, the less effective we will be in answering that call. It's so easy to feel overwhelmed by the sea of pain out there, and holding perspective and building safe space gets harder and harder the more overwhelmed we feel.

We joke in our Circle about "put on your own oxygen mask before assisting another," but it's not really a joke at all. It is an admonition to stop, look, and listen to ourselves before stepping forward, to be able to honestly assess what resources we have to offer rather than always be reactively overextended.  

Let Peace begin with me

I have been doing fairly intense Lightwork this season. There is a great deal of need in the world right now, and I have been fortunate to have the internal resources to offer my Work up in some important ways.  I feel the stirrings of Peace on the Winter wind, and I wish to foster the growth of the desire for Peace. 

As the song says, Peace begins with me.   To that end, I have decided to start a Peace shawl for myself. This shawl, which I have wanted to knit for sometime, is soft and intended to remind me of my desire to work for greater Peace in the World starting with creating Peace within myself.  I began knitting on the shawl on the Winter Solstice here in the Northern Hemisphere to commemorate specific Work in which I assisted designed to support the growing Light in the World of spirit.  The shawl actually has the word Peace knitted into it.  The knitting is going much more quickly than I expected it to; I will likely finish it before the end of January.

With this in mind, I have decided that this journey of Peace shawl knitting will encompass more than one shawl.  The first, as I mentioned, is for me, since Peace must begin within each person individually.  The second will be for a close family member; supporting Peace within the family, whether birth or chosen, is the next logical step.  If I have time before December 21, 2012, I will knit a shawl for a member of my community, outside of my immediate family, who is in need.  This is the reach of support from within a family out into their surrounding community.  Beyond that, if I have time in this year, I will knit a Peace shawl for donation to a charity that can place it with someone in need that I do not know, thus reaching further out into the greater World with Love in mind. 

I do not need for these shawls to all be the same pattern.  In fact, it might even be better if they are all completely different.  Each of them will be knit with Love in mind.  That is the goal here: to foster Love, and with that the Peace which passes beyond the understanding of our every day mind into the heart of the Divine.  

Won't you join me?  Knitted, crochet, felted, woven, sewn, stitched, using whatever technique speaks to your spirit, create something that conveys Love and warmth, seed the Light of Peace in yourself, and then reach out.  It doesn't matter how many pieces you make, nor how quickly, it is the intent that counts.  Peace, begin with me.  Let me share this Light.

The Void and the Beacon

In the past, I feared The Void.  Being easily connected to what I perceived as a large, dark, cold, empty place, I fought to learn how to enter The Void without unintended side effects. My body would grow incredibly cold, and the loneliness I felt in that space would weigh heavy on my spirit.

And yet I continued to be drawn into it.  I struggled with the idea that this connection was somehow within me, that here lay the Immanent Divine.  And so I learned to build heat in my body, to remain deeply rooted to Earth even as I reached out into the space that frightened me seeking that deepest connection to Spirit.

What I found has surprised me.  Inside myself there is a bright light, a connection to the Divine.  The real surrprise, however, is that this same light fills the darkness.  Once I found the light within myself, I could recognize the light in the darkness that I had been unable to see before.  The real Joy here is this: the Light that fills The Void is US!  We are the beacons that fill space, we are the ligths that call out, the heat that builds life.  By God Herself, The Void is full of stars and we are them!

Isn't that wonderful?  I think so. Won't you join me in shining forth?

Let there be Light

I find myself having completed a curious circle this year.  Tonight we put our Yule decorations around the house.  As boxes were unpacked I found myself holding a thing which seemed last year a remnant of things that no longer had meaning for me: a blown glass angel.

We have used this angel as a tree topper for several years.  It's wonderful, and I must admit that my inner squirrel is oh-so-delighted with the shiny glass, especially when it is illuminated.  However, as my family drew away from the Christian traditions of our collective childhoods and closer to to celebrating the natural cycle of the Wheel of the Year, we began to feel the angel represented a deity that no worked for us.  I wanted to return to the star on the tree top that I had as a child, unknowing in my innocence that my own parents were more Pagan in their leanings than I could have imagined.  We've had the a lovely star on our tree top now for the past few years, and the angel has sat as a decoration in another part of the house.  I don't think we even unpacked the angel last year.  It just didn't seem to experess our feelings about this season.

In the past year so much has changed for me.  Growth has occurred that I could not have anticipated and yet is somehow the culmination of all my life at the same time.  I found an inner light that fires my will, that inspires me to stand tall and reach out from a place of strength that I did not know I possesed.  I found a love that I had only glimpsed somewhere in my dreams.  Through this Light I even found healing for familial wounds that I thought I'd never forgive.  I am learning to live, really live, with a love that fills me to overflowing.  It is sometimes painful, always joyful, and I want others to see this Light and also desire to live in Love with all their being.  There is no greater gift to give or receive...and I understand now that no one, not one single other being, can take this away from me or anyone.  It shines down from the stars, and we are made of stars.  There is no difference, there is no distance, it is here, now, within each of us.

As I unpacked the angel I was struck by the Light reflected through Her.  I saw the Light Being He represents, not the cultural connotations that I turned from earlier on this journey.  My inner starlight leapt and my heart cried out that this, this is the same Light, One Light, shining forth.  There is no separation and yet a racous celebration of all that makes us unique.  And so I have come Full Circle, Light to Light, Love to Love, and my eyes filled with tears as my heart overflowed with Joy.

Let there be Light. Let yourselves be never ending Light. Lux Aeterna! Yah Fatah, The Way is Open!

 

The Risk

The Risk

 

Bring on the burning

I take this risk

Damn the torpedoes

And open the floodgates

 

If I burn for this Love

Risking shining out

In fullest Love’s Light

Then it will not have been in vain

 

Perhaps one person will see

At least the tiniest spark

Of my burning and will let it catch

Boldly igniting a dark heart

 

Flaring brilliance of the Big Bang

An instant shared forever

Fulfilling all that promise

Burning brightly together

 

    -Sandi Luck

    Samhain 2011, CE

 

Occupy yourself

I have been musing on the Occupy movement these last few weeks. We are rising in response to a society run amok, that has lost touch with the very people its institutions were supposed to serve and protect. Nonetheless, I have been watching the protests with concern because rising up without focus can contribute to violence and chaos rather than combating those divisive forces.

Just now, however, I think I have hit upon something. Change begins within each one of US. We are the only ones that change us. Change yourself first, look into the mirror and really look at yourself, and then you can truly begin to change the world around you. Occupy Yourself. Be present, fully occupying who you are and your right sized place I the world. By doing so, you help others to see that they, too, can do this; this kind of inner beacon shines out and calls others up as well.

Rise up,Occupy Yourself to the fullest. Then, and only then, reach out to help the next being to rise up.

108 days

Yesterday I began a 108 day challenge.  This will finish on 18 January, my lovely Wife's birthday.  I have some simple goals in mind, and since it takes about 6 weeks to change a habit, I thought that this time span would be ample time to set new habits into place.  

My goals for this time are as follows:

1. Yoga in some form every day.  This does not mean that I do a strong vinyasa class every day.  Some days I will do a short restorative routine.  The idea is one of continuity, not physical punishment.  Yoga helps my physical and psychic bodies remain in alignment.  This kind of alignment helps me to live my life at a much higher frequency, energizing and enlivening my work in the world.

2. Create a better relationship with food.  I love food.  It's sometimes feels difficult to be a foodie with all the food allergies and other food restrictions that I have, and yet there is a world of wonderful food still available to me.  I wish to create a happier, healthier relationship with the food that I *can* eat, and to conquer the resistance of the past several years to journaling my food intake.  To that end, I will food journal every day.  Again, consistency helps build new habits.  This is not about making judgements about the food I eat, but rather being able to have the investigative trail to look at when I don't feel well, to see if there was a food culprit involved.  This is also a way to learn to appreciate the beautiful and tasty food that *does* nourish and support me.

3.   Increase my practice habits.  I have a well-established daily practice.  It is the cornerstone of my life.  Even so, there is a whirlwind rising in the world and I feel called to further deepen my practice.  I wish to be of service; to do this I must first be in service to myself.  My daily practice is the place where I can go within, observe myself, and from which I can build strong foundations.

In choosing to start at this time of year, I am setting in motion changes that will be firmly in process when Samhain arrives.  In the Wheel of the Year spiritual tradition that my family practices, this symbolizes the arrival of the New Year, and my stated timeline will carry me through into the a time when the changing light is apparent again in mid-January.  This feels to me like a good synchronicity of nature and intent.  Join me if you feel called to do so, and we will work in support of each other. Make a commitment to enrich your own life in whatever way feels appropriate.  All Work that supports us in growing and moving toward the Light illuminates the World.

Namaste.

Gratitude

There is nothing sweeter than the realization that the people in your life are *exactly* the right people to be in your life.  Thank you, all you wonderful folks in my life, for being on this journey with me.  

I just felt the need to say that.  

Namaste

The Wall

The Wall
I hit it today
It was distressingly hard
And completely unforgiving
My heart aches
And my body hurts
Worst of all
Is the wail of anguish
That will not be released
I heard it
Off in the distance
Only to realize
That it was issuing from me
Torn assunder
Twixt the longing and the fear

And midst this despair
The whisper in my ear
"Remember.
Remember who you are.
You do not know
And you are glorious."