I am a Rennaisance Soul. There are so many pursuits that call to my soul, like fingers on the strings of a harp, pulling deep longings from my spirit. I hunger, I thirst, for completion that I don't always understand. I feel driven by desires that ignite my spirit, but the work to follow the call sometimes leaves me lost in the forrest, unable to see my way home.
Today I spent time talking with my fellow students in a class on opening the Divine Channel to creativity with T. Thorn Coyle. It was really nurturing to hear the same fears and hopes from the other students that I feel weigh me down in my growth process. The problem is not that it's a struggle to do the work - it is that it's all too easy to do this Work if I just let go of the bank and flow with the stream. What if I change, what if I don't recognize myself when I look in the water?
The reality is that I will change, but not in some unrecognizable fashion. I will change in the same way that a child grows into a adult: the essence of the child is within the adult, but the adult is so much more. My deepest essence, that which shines from the Divine itself, is ever changing and unchanging. This call is too big to cover my ears this time. My whole being is called to this Work, and I find I must heed this call now. I have the feeling I've passed on taking this mantle many, many times, being the Witness rather than the Warrior. Now, today, I see that I can be the Watcher, the Witness, and the Warrior all at the same time.
Fear still whispers, but the Love that draws me is too loud to ignore. Love, and all the rest will unfold on its own.
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