We all come to the threshold at some point in our lives, some of us many, many times. Last week I came to a threshold in my life and refused to step across. I felt afraid of the consequences, afraid that I would change and be unrecognizable even to myself.
The result wasn't fantastic. In fact, my refusal was really painful and not something I want to experience again. However, I still feel afraid of the future that lay on the other side. Which is worse, fear of the known or fear of the unknown? I KNOW how the known choice feels and I really didn't like it. Was it bad enough to drive me to take that step across the threshold of my life?
An interesting change in my life from previous moments like this is that I have support now, friends and family, people who love and care for me and who have willingly offered to stand their ground to witness me taking that step. While I love them dearly for this, I also find myself not believing that this is all real. I'm not big on faith, so I'm faced with taking a risk in a way that I find extremely uncomfortable. I hate taking risks, and yet I continuously put myself in the position of needing to do so. I want to live in service, but I am forced to recognize and admit that the highest service I can give is to live as my own highest self, and maybe help someone else open to their own possibilities by being the most and best that I can be.
That's really frightening: the idea that I need to be big, that I can no longer afford to stay small for my own or someone else's comfort, is terrifying even as I want to grow more than I can say. There is so much work to do, and I cannot shoulder it if I remain small. Stepping across this threshold may mean just that much more strength, love, and compassion to share with those I love and care about, and with those I wish to help grow. I do not want to do this alone. How many of you are willing to step up and across, to take the risk to see how big we can be? To see how much change we can be in the world?
Stepping alone is Fear itself; stepping together is flying.
Come fly with me. Spread those wings and take that first step.
Thanks for your inspiring words. Here's a hug before you spread your wings.
Posted by: Diane | April 21, 2010 at 10:19 PM