"What are you willing to do in order to come into right relationship...?", she asked me.
We were discussing my relationship with my deceased mother at the time. My mother was an incredibly gifted - and terribly broken - psychic who leveled an horrific amount of abuse at me. I became the "parent" at very, very young age, and continued to be in that relationship with my mother until I resigned the post when she moved into a nursing care facility. I don't believe she ever forgave me, nor did I think I cared until recently, but that is another story.
Today, on my drive home, it suddenly dawned on me that the question had another, much larger focus. I was thinking that I am now willing to take an even more active role in becoming embodied, in being in a body that will support the level of Work that I feel called to do. I have had some hesitation in my life about choosing to commit fully to this Work, and have used my body's limitations as an excuse to facilitate my avoidance. Something shifted today, and I found myself much more willing to commit, to pay the price for desiring to kiss the Limitless. I found a moment of pure Joy in the thought of Becoming! What a priceless gift!
And then, there in my back of my mind where I often hear my Guides speak to me, I heard, "What are you willing to do in order to come into Right Relationship...with this Great Work?" I felt tears well up. I felt supportive hands clasped around me, all while I was trying to focus on the road that I was driving. I suddenly realized that all the Resistance, the Avoidance, the self-destructive behaviors, are a way to keep me from answering that question. I have not been willing to come into Right Relationship with the Work I feel called to carry out; I felt the calling as burden rather than a choice. Suddenly it became a choice right in front of me. A choice I want to make; a choice I have already made...and yet not fully committed to.
And yet..I am not alone. I have always feared that making this choice, really committing to it, would leave me utterly and completely alone. Now I feel support for it from all around me, in many ways and from many sources. I hear loving voices say to me, "We are here to help you, to support you, to help you breathe Light and Love, that you will have even more to give!"
I choose. I choose to commit to this work. I choose Love.
What am I willing to do in order to come into right relationship with myself? Whatever it takes, knowing at least for this moment that here lay the real connection to Joy.
What are you willing to do?
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